Begin Anew

Happy New Year to all of you! I would have posted earlier, but it’s the second year in a row that I got sick before the new year. I want to thank those who left me comments on my previous post. As you know it was a rant, and now since it’s a new year, I’m focusing on the positive. To help me do that, I’m following Demi Lovato’s new book Staying Strong. I’ve also planned on changing programs in September. I’ve decided that I will completely focus on singing rather than acting. That doesn’t mean that I will be giving up my dream to be a voice actress. I’m just putting that on hold to focus on one thing rather than two at a time. I still plan on studying Japanese. It’s only kinda difficult while all of the good things are in Toronto while I live in a city beside it and have to drive. Especially right now since this winter is one of complicated ones I’ve seen since the ’90s. But I’m still making that sacrifice. Last year (or rather say in the previous ones too), I only got to wear make up for special times. This year, I’m gonna do my damnest to wear makeup everyday. Those are my resolutions I’ll mention. The other ones are more personal. So I hope you all try to accomplish. xo Good luck! :)

Dealing With Money

All my life, I guess you can say that I’ve been spoiled rotten by my parents. Up till a certain point, I didn’t ask for much except for food. But after my dad got ill (he has a lung problem and sometimes uses oxygen), everything went slow and downhill. Everyday I would worry about my future. I would start crying and have anxieties. I never had a job. Everyday I’m pretty much looking for one and dropping off resumes at every store in the mall close to me. Sometimes I don’t get a call back or I would get rejected. And as for my dad, he’s very cheap when it comes to ask him for money. For both me and my mom. Both of my parents are retired. And he’s pretty much the person who’s holding back in the house. I’m so sick of it that I want to move out and live with my cousin. I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes I want to kill myself so I don’t have to worry with so many things.

Are You A Parent or A Bully?

All my life, I know that mothers are sweet and kind and always keep your spirits up. Except, I always wonder about mine. Everywhere I go, my mom always have a friend at every corner. I always keep saying her that she has some kind of luck how she’s always having friends and everyone likes her and such. Do I get jealous? Yes, I do. I’m always the friendly type and everyone hates me in the end then ditches me. Except now I’m lucky to have some good friends who understand me and likes me for who I am. They always keep saying that “you should be grateful for your mom!” Sometimes I am. Then later when something happens (like if we get into a fight), I don’t because she will always be the rude one who expects me to take her rude words. Like today, she mentions that “I’m the worst person in the world” when I slept in for a hair appointment. Yes, I missed the appointment because my dad failed to wake me up. She told me that he was supposed to wake me. He never did.  So in the end, who’s fault is it? Yes, I could have set an alarm on my phone. But sadly, I didn’t have a chance to plug it in to charge the last night. But when she told me those words, I just basically said thank you. And as usual, if she didn’t know if I was sarcastic, she just basically said you’re welcome.  To cheer myself up, I ended up listening to music at high volume.

What’s even more annoying that she expects me to apologize in the end. Ugh. She hurt me while I need to do that. If I ignore her, she technically bribes me in the end. I hate it when she does it. What’s even worse, she expects me to believe everything she says. Everything? Oh come on. I know she’s a big liar as well. The easier way to tell is when she always no with a solid tone. But getting to the point. does all mothers do that kind of thing? Because I’ve never heard of moms saying you can bully your children by saying bad things about them. It’s not in the handbook. Trust me, it’s not the first time she says something like this. Well anyways, I needed to rant after she said that to me.

Edit: She apologized afterwards.

My Dream Home

I’m pretty sure that when you were young, you imagined of your dream house. Like girls would say that they want to live in a castle like the following Disney Princesses: Snow White, Princess Aurora and Princess Jasmine. But as you get older, you realize that it’s impossible. When reality crashes down, you probably start thinking where should you live and such by the time you reach 18 or in your 20s.That’s when you start to house hunt usually for school and afterwards. Depending on your relationship status, you probably start thinking of your dream place before or after marriage. As a girl living with her parents with no siblings, I’m pretty much tired in living in a house since sometimes when my parents are out, it’s a bit overwhelming with so much space around that I actually don’t mind living in a small place like a condo or apartment.

As my town was slowly becoming a building town (as my mom and I call it “Condoville”), I never thought that I would love condos so much until my cousin lived in one and nicely decorated. Also another friend invited me over at his house and he lived in a condo close to the mall and it was really elegant. Since then, condos have always been on my mind. But one condo really attracted my attention since I was in my teens. The luxurious condo, The Park Mansion. From my mom’s window, I’ve always seen the building. But I’ve never seen the place until I changed schools for grade 8 and my bus stop wasn’t at my house (shockingly, because usually the bus would stop over at the stop sign at the end of my street. My street is shaped as a crescent). So my dad would drive me over there every morning and lucky for us that we knew the address cause it’s across from my doctor’s office and not too far from my house. So the condo was my temporary bus stop.

The first time I went, the security told us we couldn’t park out in front of the entrance of the building, so they let us use the visitor parking and I went inside in the building’s lobby. When I saw it, I was awe struck on how beautiful and elegant it was. The staff of the building was very nice and welcoming as well. I never wanted to leave!!! The second time I went in, was in the afternoon after school when I was waiting for my mom. My friend showed me the elegant Skyclub which is at the top of the building on the 36th floor with a pool and sauna. It had a wonderful view and you can literally see all of Toronto and Mississauga from there. Since then, that condo’s always on my mind. And I’ve always dreamed of living there. If I ever lived there, I would get a one bedroom and one bathroom. If I wanted more space, I would stayed in my current house and never think about it again. But then again, I don’t want too much space.

Welcome to Adulthood.

Ever since I hit 18, my life has been flashing before my eyes. I instantly started thinking about the future. I worry a lot about my career, how I’m gonna live my life, where I’m gonna live my life, will I be stuck with my parents till they die and let them take care of everything for me? I always stressed about it. Obviously, I was thinking about moving out in the future who’s in my twenties. But at the moment in Canada, finding a job isn’t easy, no matter how many times my parents stress me to get one. At the same time, when you’re an only child and have overprotective parents lurking behind your back, it even causes big problems. Especially when you bring up the subject to your mom, who instantly tries to make your feel bad or find ways to not bring up the subject. Then again, it seems like she doesn’t want to be left behind due to my dad being ill (he has lung problems) and doesn’t want to be only one left to take care of him. /sigh.

However, I do have been thinking about my dream home (well, condo) in my town of Mississauga. I don’t like to live in a house since I’m already living in one. It’s a very luxurious place. At the same time, my friend lives in the building. Another thing that worries me sometimes that I shouldn’t. Even my dad brought it up a number of times: my career. I want to be a singer and voice actress. Those are the only two things I love and want to do (I also like to do web designing but my inspiration has diminished so low at the moment that it will be hard to me to get it back). My dad brought up that I should do nursing. I told him I didn’t. I want to follow my dreams and do it. However at the same time, I worry if I won’t make it. I try not to think of such doubt cause if I keep bringing myself down, I know it won’t happen. That’s how I feel. I also worry about finding myself a job. I want to get money desperately since my dad’s a bit cheap in sharing money with my mom and me even though he keeps saying it’s for us. What’s your experience when that time came for you? What did you do? How do you manage it?

Goodbye Summer, Hello Fall.

Boy, another summer gone already? Why does time goes by so fast? But looking back, I actually had a good year. Released my first single, went to two conventions (Anime North and FanExpo), been working out, studying a bit of Japanese, new family members, hanging out with old friends, playing video games and such. On my birthday, I got a new console which is the PSVita and Tales of Hearts R from Japan. I got a DS Lite previously with the game, My Japanese Coach to help me with my Japanese studies (which is really helpful). Mom recently shocked me by getting an iPad which now I can say that I’m addicted XD But at the same time, I fail at typing on it. /nervous chuckle. Since I was with my mom when she bought it, we decided to keep it a secret from my dad. Why? Sometimes, he would complain about a lot of stuff so, yeah, we didn’t tell him. :)

As you probably know, (if you didn’t, I would be surprised.) Apple upgraded iOS on the iPhone~ I actually didn’t know that Apple was going to do that until my phone provider sent me a text about it. Before updating, I did some investigation on it via Apple’s CA website. I was really surprised and was like: I gotta do this now!!! I even told my mom about it and she wanted me to update her phone to iOS7 as well. After the update finished, I was awe-struck at how pretty it was and sparkly and light~ But at the same time I was like: how I do do this and such because some things changes on the phone too. My overall opinion of the update that is, I loveee it and still waiting for other apps that I use to update to the same format :) Now I don’t need to change my iPhone since I love it so much. /hugs iPhone 4S. :)

Worlds Collide: Once Upon A Time

I was gonna write this a long time ago, but I kept forgetting. But after writing that post on Hannibal, I knew that I had to write about this series. Of course, I watched this before Hannibal. I got into the series after watching a tv spot on Youtube. I was watching gaming videos at the time of course, recently Youtube’s been giving a lot of ads which was annoying me. But this one caught my eye. I’m a huge lover of fantasy (which makes me wonder if that’s normal up to this point because it affects my mind and etc) and I love romance. This show included stories of Snow White, Cinderella and other stories of that genre, which made me get curious on the show since they said that they wouldn’t remember who they are. So when OUAT premiered on that day, of course I was watching it on CTV at 7. The only person I knew from the show was Lee Arenberg from Pirates of the Caribbean  I knew Jennifer Morrison was in House, but I never saw her in the episodes she appeared in because sometimes I would miss watching House. And at the same time, I also didn’t know her name XD;

The pilot was beautifully made. I mean, Ginnifer Goodwin is beautiful as Snow White/Mary Margaret and Josh Dallas is handsome as Prince Charming/David Nolan. And seriously they’ve chosen a wonderful cast. I love Lana Parrilla as The Evil Queen/Regina Mills, she brings sass to her character. I also wish to have their wardrobe because seriously, in every episode, the cast has wonderful costumes that I want to keep. Especially Ginnifer’s wardrobe for Snow for both the present time and in fairytale land. Right now, I can’t wait for the season premiere for the 3rd season to air on Sunday. I’m sure we will have more Charming family time (which I totally look forward to in this season since we just started to get in the last season but needed more).

Bon Appetit: Hannibal

Lets start that I have no idea that I would be so obsessed over this series and I’m very happy that it’s getting a second season! As you know that I have a Tumblr (btw, you’re welcome to follow me if we share the same fandom) and I follow some blogs. I just randomly came across a gif set of Hannibal and Abigail and I got myself curious about the series. When I did a little research on Wikipedia, I thought, let me watch the latest episode that came out. Then I watch the first and so on. Then I instantly became a fan and started shipping Hannibal/Will, Hannibal/Abigail, Hannibal/Alana, Jack/Bella, Alana/Will and you know the rest of the pairings if you watch the show. I also did a little research on the actors as well. Like I never knew Mads and Hugh were co-stars in King Arthur and now they’re together again on this show. I also didn’t know that Laurence Fishbourne and Gina Torres were actually married in real life and now they’re husband and wife on the show as well ;P Small world, eh? XD

The show’s actually really good that I bought the first season on iTunes via my mom’s account XD The characters are well played, the music is wonderful (Btw NBC if you’re reading this, release a soundtrack and score please!!) including the settings and effects. This has to be a awesome version of Hannibal that I’ve watched in my life. I’ve only seen Hannibal Rising, so please keep your opinions to yourself for now, all right? /glare. So I think Mads has done an awesome job better than Gaspard Ulliel. Speaking of Mads, thanks to him wearing high class suits in the show, he’s ruined me by making me fangirl over him on Tumblr. XD I’ve also seen En Kongelig Affære (A Royal Affair) which he’s starred in last year which I seriously recommend you Mads fans out there to watch~ ;D You won’t regret it. I also didn’t know that he was in Casino Royale and I watched the movie once XD;; /forgetful. I’ll watch it again since he’s in it~

A Winter Wonderland?

Well, it seems like even after Groundhog Day has passed, winter is still here and being more fiercer than ever. Not too long ago, what it seems like a blizzard, but a snowstorm came into the province of Ontario on Thursday and didn’t finish until Friday night. It was a huge predicament for my parents and myself since the snow really dropped heavily to the ground. I didn’t see this much snow since the 90′s. :/ And I’m quite shocked to see that much fall again for the new year.

Due to my dad being ill and I didn’t want my mom going outside, my parents didn’t want me to do the snow. We do have a snow plow in our garage, but sadly it’s still in the box, brand new and untouched. XD;; However, we did call someone to do our driveway for us. However, we did have the front door to do. Which was hell for me and my mom. We managed to do it within an hour which made me soo tired. x.x;

While it was freaky to watch the snow falling from my window, I did take a few pictures with my iPhone since it did look lovely to look at afterwards.


Instagram: An Obsession

My NailsI won’t deny it. It’s true. Thanks to a friend from school, I’ve been completely addicted to this app on my iPhone. Almost every day, I would try to take a picture of something that would look nice to post on my account. ;P Either it’s myself or an object that catches my eye or love. It can also be food before it’s been eaten. It’s like the second thing I would use next to Photoshop to edit pictures. The effects and coloring… It’s so mesmerizing. If I can’t do it via Photoshop, I would do it on my iPhone then try to post it. It seems like from this point, I can’t just only take plain pictures with my phone. I have to use Instragram or I would go insane. I orginally had Instagram when I had my first iPhone; the iPhone 3G. I used it a few times, however, I wasn’t that much into it as a I was bit insecure taking pictures of myself. But as I changed my phone again to an iPhone 4S after my BlackBerry was acting up and renewed my phone contact with Fido back in November, I got the app once more and got more into it. Since then, it’s one of the used apps on my phone. :)

A New Year…

こんいちはみんなさん (Hello everyone), happy new year to you all~ Wish you all the best ;D Have any of you made any resolutions? Speaking of that, do you believe in doing them? Are you serious in the things you’re planning that you want to for this year? For me, I basically feel 50/50 about it. Sometimes I might not get it done because the feelings will kick in and I might stop doing it all together. I made some personal resolutions and I made some online related as well. I also hope to blog more for the new year. And hopefully I won’t have to delete the pages in order to restart all over again. I honestly want to stop and go forward.

As you can see that I’ve written hello in Japanese. I’m also aiming in learning the language completely this year. I’m also happy to say that I’ve taken lessons again, this time with KemushiChan. If you’re interested in learning or increasing your learning skills, I suggest you visit her site right now and visit her Youtube as well. :) Mom says that we’ll “finally” go to Walt Disney World this year. I’m not so sure since she promised to go. But I don’t believe it, till she proves it. I also hope to find love this year. I’ve never been in a relationship so, I want to experience that and hopefully keep that. I also hope to get noticed as a singer, so I need to increase my singing skills. Good luck to you all in the new year~ xoxo

Being Sick Sucks Balls

こんいちはみんなさん (Hello everyone), first of all, Merry Belated Christmas. Happy to say that I’m back to the blogging world. I hope you’re all doing well and having a wonderful holiday. As for me, well… as you can see by the title, I’m not. I suddenly got the flu. My mom’s the first person to actually get it though. She got it from a co-worker/friend from work last week. Then I caught it from her, since I took care of her (and I repeatedly told her that I can’t afford to get sick since I sing), then poof, I got a sore-throat on Friday. So sadly on Christmas Day, I’ve been coughing, sneezing, and blowing my nose non-stop. Fun, isn’t it? I’ve been constantly drinking Ginger Ale and Honey Lemon tea to feel better at some points and I couldn’t eat. I tried drinking soup on Sunday night, but I threw up afterwards. But I was able to eat a belated Christmas dinner on Thursday, so yay. Apparently, more family members have been getting sick as well; like my uncle in Montreal, my cousin’s husband, and my other cousin’s son. I seriously wish I was in a warm climate right now and I wouldn’t have to worry about all this except allergies.

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